I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
