New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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