i just made my gag reflex go away.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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