Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
