i will never coherently bang her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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