it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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