A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
