I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
this will be a night to untag.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
