I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
