I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
