I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize