Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
