Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
