remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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