That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
