Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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