what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
