didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
