RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
