He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
