thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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