I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
