You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
