New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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