Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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