see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
