I am puke
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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