so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize