the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
