I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I believe in your delicious
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
