I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize