well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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