Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
