yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
