When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
