community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
