I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
