Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i think i have two assholes
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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