I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
