last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
