I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
