I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
