sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
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