I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
