I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
