fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
