I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize