Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
