Whod you bang
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
