lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
