So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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