Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
