Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
