Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
