theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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