Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
