Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
