guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
