I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
