Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so explain again why im purple
no
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you didnt know i had herpes?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
