what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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