I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
