This is not my ceiling
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
